That Moment When You Experience it for Yourself

So it is hard to explain what it is like living with a person who is exhibiting symptoms of dementia, it is something that you would have to experience for yourself in order to believe it and understand it. One by one my grandmother's children have to see what it is like on their own.

So last week my aunt Elena came to visit for a week and stayed with grandma while I was out of town on a work related trip.  My aunt works in a nursing home but I guess it was different to come to visit her mother and see her mind deteriorate to the point to where she no longer bathes herself or is willing to change her clothes.  My aunt, poor thing, is a humble lady who is very gracious and full of love.  She was attacked by my grandmother when she tried to help her change her clothes and bathe.  My aunt decided to hide my grandmother’s clothes just to see if she would look for a new set and change, but the situation went downhill quickly.  My grandmother became aggressive and demanded her clothes.  She went on and on saying that it is nobody’s business if she changes her clothes or not, it’s nobody’s business if she bathes or not.  I couldn’t help to wonder how right she was.  Who are we to tell her to do anything she doesn’t want to do, for sure no one can tell me what to do.  My aunt almost gave in and gave her back her clothes but I heard the commotion and went in, then she decided to step out of the room.  I talked to my grandmother for a while, she told me someone took her clothes, I played it off and changed the subject and she calmed down, about an hour later she put on a new set of clean clothes and went to get coffee.  I quickly grabbed the dirty clothes and washed then then return them to their original place.  We decided to make my grandmother believe that she had washed them and that they were there all along.  She bought the story.

The week, for the most part, went well for my aunt, but the end was a little rocky.  The day my aunt was flying back to Florida, my grandmother was so upset, she kept saying how all her children abandoned her, and she kept saying how lonely she was.  It made us realized that no matter how many people surround her, she only wants the companionship of her biological children. It is a pity that most of them don't live near, most live in a different state altogether and they can only come to visit occasionally.  It is my hope that all her biological children make efforts to be with her if only a week at a time.