Lately, we have been experiencing crises with gran gran too often.
Today's crisis started in the morning. As I am getting ready for
work, she's in the kitchen having coffee with sweet bread as she grew up doing
in Honduras; she has kept her morning rituals non-changing. I went to the
kitchen and greeted her, asked her how she was doing. She said she felt a
little hard of breathing, since I had to leave for work I wanted to make sure
she used her inhaler to avoid any asthma attacks during the day since I
wouldn't be there. She said she has no inhalers, which she does; she just
misplaces them or overuses them. This time I kept the brand new inhaler
we just got for her yesterday. So I pulled out the inhaler and I asked her to
take a treatment before I leave for work so I don't worry about her during the
day. She must have been faking the symptoms because all of a sudden she
could breathe and talk and yell and scream. She got so offended that I had kept the inhaler, she asked me if I thought she was old and stupid that she
couldn't keep her own medication, I of course tried to diffuse the situation to
no avail. I followed her upstairs where she was almost running to while
simultaneously yelling insults at me, if there was no asthma attack before,
there was sure to be one now. As I reached upstairs she proceeded to bang
on her head with her fists and then to drop to the ground. I tried to
help her fall but she began to scratch me, I pulled away and she continued to
bang her head. I grabbed her arms and told her that I could not let her
hurt herself and that she needed to calm down; she refused and continued to
scream and demanded to be left alone. I just could not leave her. I called my
son and told him to stand by with the cell phone in case calling an ambulance
became necessary; he too tried to calm her down to no avail. Suddenly, I
found myself yelling at her as if she was my child. I don't even know at
what moment I decided to do it, I don't think it was out of frustration, it
felt more like it was out of necessity. I found myself yelling at my
grandmother to calm down I screamed at her to let me take care of her or did she prefer I
call an ambulance and have her restrained?. She calmed down but I saw a
look of helplessness in her eyes. I felt she feels a little lost but
she's not sure if she can trust me. I helped her off the floor and onto
her bed where she finally agreed to take the inhaler treatment. It was a moment
loaded with emotions, she apologized to me for scratching me and insulting me,
I told her there was no need for apologies and that I do not enjoy yelling at her and to forgive me that. I told her to try to control
her anger and try to trust me. She agreed.
Although it was an emotionally charged
morning, I feel like it helped me understand her a little more. I don't know if
I reacted the right way, it felt like instinct almost, it just happened.
When I got to my office, I immediately started reading about dementia symptoms and came across do's and don'ts when experiencing incidents like this. I feel my reaction was a don't and now I know for next time.
Now, I am in need of a muscle relaxer and eye drops. I'm afraid the stress of the morning will probably stay with me throughout the day.
Now, I am in need of a muscle relaxer and eye drops. I'm afraid the stress of the morning will probably stay with me throughout the day.
I must reiterate that she has not been
diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer, but her pcp recognized her behavior as
symptoms of dementia. I am in the process of scheduling an appointment
with a neurologist through Medicare.
Good source of info:
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